Terminal lung cancer is taking Sandra McSavaney's body, but the disappearance of one of her daughters is destroying her soul.
Mrs McSavaney, 68, from Anna Bay, north of Newcastle, fears she will not be able to rest in peace until she can let her child, Tracey Valesini, do the same.
The torment of suspicion and half-truths are taking their toll more than two decades after her then 20-year-old daughter went missing.
Ms Valesini, a mother of two, is believed to have been murdered in late 1992 or early 1993.
In 2002, Mrs McSavaney was forced to bury another daughter, Lisa Marie Sara. She was strangled to death by her de facto husband, Michael John Lidster, who remains in jail after being convicted of murder.
Because of a complicated family unit, Ms Valesini was not reported missing for four years, and a misplaced police report meant any investigation took about two years to start.
Then state coroner John Abernethy found during an inquest in 2006 that Ms Valesini had died at Wentworth Falls, in the Blue Mountains, "of injuries inflicted upon her by another person".
"As to the identity of that person, the evidence adduced does not enable me to say," Mr Abernethy found.
But Mrs McSavaney believes she knows who is responsible and that other people are also aware of the identity of the killer or killers.
"I still have nightmares. I want her body, I want to be able to put her to rest," Mrs McSavaney said.
"I still can't put up photos of Tracey around the house because I get too upset.
"It is like someone has put their hand in your chest and ripped your heart out.
"I want to know why these people will not tell me, and the police, who did this. Why are they still too frightened to talk?
"I need to put my daughter to rest before I die."
Mrs McSavaney's only surviving daughter, Sharon Robards, added: "To a certain extent it doesn't really matter what exactly happened, just give us a body.
"The thought that she is still out there and thinking we have forgotten about her is too much to bear."
Mrs McSavaney has also pleaded with authorities to announce a significant reward for information, claiming it could be enough for those who knew to come forward.
"Tracey had no fear. I firmly believe Tracey threatened to go to the police about people and they killed her," Mrs McSavaney said.
"If [the people who knew] have got a conscience now would be the time, and if the authorities offered a reward it may help them come forward."
Late last year, Mrs McSavaney saw her doctor about what she thought was a small complaint and was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer.
A smoker her entire adult life, Mrs McSavaney is still undergoing chemotherapy and may receive radiation therapy shortly.
Anyone with information is urged to call Crime Stoppers on 1800 333 000.
