People skills are positive, right?
They are crucial for helping us connect with others and enhancing our sense of life satisfaction.
They are key to how well we perform, lead and how successful companies can be.
They help prevent us from bullying and cultivate compassion.
They also help us to be human.
Emotional intelligence (EI) has become a buzz word in the past 20 years since Daniel Goleman's 1995 bestseller, and researchers have been explaining why it is not a mushy word ever since.
Rather, they say, it is a critical skill in mastery.
But, people skills can be a double-edged sword.
The edge that understanding the emotions of others gives us, can also be used for "malicious purposes".
There is some confusion around what emotional intelligence actually is.
"The concept of 'emotional intelligence' is widespread, but what does it even mean?" asks neuroscientist, Dean Burnett, in a new feature. "That someone has a better understanding of their own emotions? Or those of other people? That they can control them better? You will find people invoking the term but using it to mean wildly different things. In many cases, you'd be forgiven for concluding that 'emotional intelligence' is just a long-winded way of saying 'emotional', with reduced risk of upsetting said emotional person."
Generally speaking, it is defined as our ability to be aware and accurately recognise our own and others' emotions, motives and moods and use this knowledge to manage our own behaviour and improve our interactions with others.
An emerging body of research has been exploring the dark side of emotional intelligence.
People skills, by very virtue of their name, ought to be pro-social.
But, some use their "skill" for purposes that are distinctly antisocial.
Two studies from last year found a link between emotional intelligence and Machiavellian manipulation and narcissism.
The first found that narcissists would use their "charming, interesting, and even seductive" qualities to deceive and get what they wanted.
The second found that, in teenage girls, "good interpersonal skills are required to successfully manipulate others".
"Overall, high trait EI individuals form positive and effective personal relationships and are able to regulate their emotions and behaviours in adaptive ways that support personal wellbeing," the authors said.
But.
"When you think about manipulative behaviour or Machiavellian ways of relating, for that to be a successful social strategy, you have to have some degree of emotional intelligence," said lead researcher, Plymouth University's Alison Bacon.
"You have to understand what effect your behaviour is going to have on other people, in terms of their thoughts, or feelings or emotions ... otherwise you won't have the social skills to pull that off."
That said, those who use their skill to manipulate aren't immune to being manipulated themselves.
One study from 2013 found that those who are overconfident in their ability to read others' emotions failed to detect insincerity in people who falsely displayed distress.
As The Atlantic points out, in a new feature, they picked up on the distress but not the authenticity; they could read the emotions but not the minds.
People skills can be dangerous, but we shouldn't exaggerate their power either.
And here lies the rub.
Emotional intelligence is a skill, it is argued.
It can be learned by anyone to some extent, and given it is such an important skill, it should be.
Indeed, emotional intelligence is now taught in many secondary schools, business schools, and medical schools.
But, it must be aligned with morals or compassion, so it doesn't become a weapon but rather a tool to connect and enrich our existence.
