Samuel Leighton-Dore was five years old when he realised he was gay.
"When I was playing Lion King with the boys up the street I always wanted to be the cub that got licked by the dad," he said.
"I was always interested in boys, but there was no presence of gay protagonists or characters in what I was reading or the films I was watching so I didn't really have a word for it."
Over the next decade Leighton-Dore would go through the confronting and often brutal experience of school in Sydney.
In and out of counselling, "I felt isolated by my sexuality long, long, before I'd ever been sexually active", he said.
"I couldn't walk across the playground in Homebush without being called a 'gaylord' or 'faggot'.
"I wish I could go back and tell my seven-year-old self that these 10 years are going to be hard, but there is light at the end of the tunnel."
Now the 23-year-old has done just that, self-publishing a children's book titled I Think I'm a Poof.
Leighton-Dore and illustrator Lucy Adelaide take readers on the journey of Johnny – a child struggling with his sexual identity.
"Johnny woke his dad in the middle of the night," the book's opening lines read. "He had tears in his eyes, something wasn't right. Johnny's dad sat up and whispered, is something aloof? Johnny looked to ground and replied, I think I'm a poof."
Meetings with publishing powerhouse Hardie Grant were productive, but ultimately landed the 27-page picture book in the "too risky" basket.
The publisher declined to comment on why it didn't proceed to press.
Leighton-Dore's friend Henry Gelbart ultimately stumped up the cash to get it to print, but that was only half the battle.
Nervous bookshops would not stock the small initial run of 2000 books, said Leighton-Dore.
Among them, Better Read Than Dead, a book store in perhaps Sydney's most progressive enclave, Newtown.
"There is no way that I would give that book to a child," said the store's manager, Amelia Lush. "It plays with stereotypes of sexuality which I wasn't really comfortable with, particularly as a queer person.
"At the moment gay kids are being bullied across the country. I'm not going to stock any material that is likely to increase that through using words like poof, queen and fairies."
Despite the relatively small circulation, copies of the book have been smuggled into Moscow, where LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transexual) groups are forced underground to discuss politics under the guise of learning English.
In the cobbled streets by the Kremlin, Leighton Dore's book has become a small symbol of defiance.
"What we're doing is completely illegal," one of the Moscow group's leaders, Tatiana, tells Leighton Dore in an email. "We are constantly terrified that the police will come for us – that they'll beat and arrest us."
Leighton-Dore said he wanted to empower the gay community through taking back ownership of terms like "poof". He hopes that one person in particular sees it that way too – the British actor, presenter and activist Stephen Fry.
"Getting Stephen Fry to read the book out loud has always been the dream," he said.
