Die elegantly while you run up the hill, I say to myself, before I die inelegantly, folding forward with my hands on my knees and gasping for air from burning lungs.
Running uphill, for all its dastardly and ability to reduce you quickly into a jelly-legged mess, is very good for us.
It can increase metabolism, oxygen uptake, endurance, leg strength, speed and cardiovascular function, among other benefits.
Whether you do it as part of your exercise regime (experts recommend including a hill session once or twice a week) or you are joining me in Sunday's Balmoral Burn, there are ways to minimise the pain.
"Overdoing the pace early on can release lactic acid into your muscles, which will really hurt your efforts [later on]," Runner's World advises. "Save your hill attacks for the second half of the course. By then, you'll be pumping lots of oxygen to your leg muscles, and the weeks of hill training you have been doing prior to the race will pay off."
Despite what you – I – may think, there is not just one type of hill; the horrible hill. There are two types of hills – short ones, which have a sharp inclines and longs ones, which have a steadier climb, says Damon Bray, co-owner of Runlab who trains with Olympic distance running hopeful, Eloise Wellings.
While psychologically they may differ, the techniques to tackle them are the same. Here are Bray's top five tips:
1. "The key to running a hill is leg turnover – your stride should be slightly shorter and faster than if you were running on the flats," Bray advises. "We have a natural tendency to want to run with longer slower stride but this is inefficient and is actually putting more stress through the legs. Think about riding a bike up a hill – a slow, hard gear is harder to maintain than spinning the pedals with an easier gear – the same goes for your legs up the hill."
2. "A few metres before you get to the bottom of the hill start your faster leg turnover – the momentum will help you take a little bit of speed into the hill to propel you toward the top."
3. "Arm drive will help with that forward momentum – if you drive and pump the arms a little higher than normal your legs will follow."
4. "Stand tall! You're out hitting the hills so stand tall and be proud! Look toward the top of the hill and not down at your feet, it'll open you up and allow you to breathe easier."
5. "Count your steps. start at one and count your steps to 10 then start at one again. This will keep your mind thinking about your faster leg turnover and form rather than the pain you 'may' be going through."
