Explainer: Keeping up with the Kardashian pregnancies

I bet you're probably thinking, what happened with that? (Or maybe you're not. In which case, I envy you and your pure life. Please write a book on how I can free myself from the Kardashian news cycle. And release it as a photo essay of your selfies because those are the only books I read now.)

The surprising answer is: not a lot. A month and three days (not that I am counting) after it was reported by "close sources" that Kylie Jenner was pregnant (with news of her sisters Kim and Khloe Kardashian also expecting coming soon after) we have received virtually no information about whether Kris Jenner is getting enough grandchildren to sell E! Keeping Up With the Kardashians until 2057.

In fact, over the past four and a bit weeks we have been fed so many red herrings I've stopped taking my Omega 3 tablets.

Because, gone are the days when the Kardashian family were free and forthcoming with their personal lives on social media. Even their subscription-fee apps have been void of goss. It seems the only way we will find out anything about whether these babies exist is by watching to the end of 10th anniversary season of their reality show, expected to end in the new year. How very 2007.

???But that doesn't mean the gossip stops. Oh no. Here's what we know (and, more commonly, what we don't know) about the possible Kardashian triplets-once-removed.

Kim

Is there definitely a baby?

Yes. Kim Kardashian, 37, and her husband, rapper Kanye West, 40, are expecting their third child via surrogate, Kim confirmed to her sister Khloe in an episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians earlier this month. The family had been canvassing the option because Kim suffers from placenta accreta, which can result in hemorrhaging and increases risk of a premature delivery, with TMZ reporting in early September that they had selected a woman in her 20s with two young children to carry their child (the surrogate's identity has not been confirmed).

What do we know about this baby?

Human species. Will probably wear Balmain.

(We do not know a lot about this baby.)

What do we not know about this baby?

All facts not listed above. Although a tweet sent by Kim on Monday asking for recommendations for a double stroller sent rumours swirling that there could be twins on the way, Kim was quick to clarify that the stroller was actually for her other two children, North, four, and Saint, 22 months.

Kylie

Is there definitely a baby?

No. Despite the Kylie Jenner reports being first to emerge in this celeb gossip trifecta, confirmation of this has been harder to come by than a new release Kylie Lip Kit.

A few days after the original story was reported by TMZ, The Sun reported Caitlyn Jenner had confirmed her daughter's pregnancy to them. However, Kim Kardashian later took to Twitter to say the quotes from Caitlyn were "fake". (Although she did not necessarily say the story itself was a fake).

Why do we think there could be a baby?

Kylie, 20, has only been dating rapper Travis Scott, 25, since April, so you could be forgiven for thinking this whole baby business is coming a bit soon. But Kylie has been raising some eyebrows, shifting her social media pictures away from full-length shots and towards close-ups and, deceptively, throwback pictures.

If she's not pregnant, she is loving making sure everyone thinks she is (which seems like a weird thing for a 20-year-old to enjoy but standards of reasonableness cannot be applied to someone who has been starring in one reality show or another from age nine). Last week she posted a video to Snapchat with the caption "nothing's gonna hurt you baby" and I lamented the English language's love of synonym. (Seriously, I'm sure in some more specific language she would have had to have written "nothing's gonna hurt you foetus" and the jig would have been up.)

Then on Tuesday, Kylie and her sister Khloe kept exploiting the semantic slippage of the word "baby" in an ad for their new range of Lip Kits.

"We created them," Khloe said of the range in the video. "It's our baby together. We have eight!"

"We have so many babies," Kylie added. "Who knew?"

Khloe

Is there definitely a baby?

Look, also no. A number of celebrity news outlets - TMZ, US Weekly and People: the trinity -??? reported the third Kardashian sister was expecting a child four days after the Kylie story broke. Khloe, 33, has not made any comment.

Why do we think there could be a baby?

The reality star, who is dating basketball player Tristan Thompson, 26, has also been a bit more coy on social media. Although she was quick to call out fans who suggested she was showing a baby bump in modelling pictures for her latest denim collection.

"This is a peplum shirt. It flares out at the bottom. It's just the way the shirt is designed." she said in an Instagram comment. "In some of the next pictures coming up from the SAME shoot, I'm in a crop top. Showing a lot of skin."

(Given the pictures would have been taken months in advance, close analysis was probably of little worth.)

However, Khloe participated in the Lip Kit ad referenced above. Also this week, mum Kris Jenner seemed to hint her daughter was expecting. After speaking to Entertainment Daily about how happy Thompson had made her daughter, the grandmother went on to say, "When your babies have babies, it's magic." And People reported this morning that "multiple" source had confirmed to them that the couple were expecting a son.