As Jason Gustavs sat in a psychiatric ward for the umpteenth time, the teenager penned a letter to his parents.
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He explained why his adolescence had been marred by the erratic and withdrawn behaviour that had repeatedly landed him in mental health facilities and police cells.
He revealed he had been sexually abused by a man who lived only 500 metres from their family home. That man was Andre Hendricks, a South African-born aspiring photographer who posed as a talent scout to lure young men to his Cronulla unit, coaxing them with cannabis and alcohol.
On the back of the letter Mr Gustavs then wrote a suicide note before trying to take his own life.
Speaking to the 28-year-old now, it is hard to fathom how this determined, passionate but clearly affected man felt that his abuser had triumphed over him.
"You know, he almost beat me," he said, seated at the dining table of his parents' Cronulla home.
In December, Hendricks, who was employed as a support officer at a Hurstville boys school before his arrest, was found guilty of abusing Mr Gustavs and another boy between 2002 and 2005.
Mr Gustavs asked that Fairfax Media identify him, contrary to the usual practice of not disclosing the identity of child sexual abuse victims.
It is one of the steps he is taking to break the taboo around child sexual abuse experiences and to encourage others to come forward.
While Hendricks was convicted on 10 child sex offences committed against two people, police believe there may be other victims.
Hendricks' trial in the Sydney District Court heard how he would drive around Cronulla with teenage boys listening to rap music before taking them back to his unit to drink and smoke.
For some boys, Hendricks took their photographs. For one victim, he put on a pornographic video before subjecting him to sexual assault.
When Miranda detectives raided his unit in 2015, they found dozens of photographs of teenage boys, dating back 15 years.
Hendricks claimed in his evidence during his trial that his two victims made up the allegations he sexually assaulted them as minors. He argued he had consensual sex with them when they were over 16.
Mr Gustavs was 13 when a friend introduced him to Hendricks, who was then 30.
After a few hours drinking at Hendricks' place and listening to music, Mr Gustavs accepted Hendricks' offer to stay and "sober up".
He woke up not long after to find Hendricks sexually assaulting him.
"I got up and ran out of there," said Mr Gustavs, now an operations assistant at a Sydney hospital.
"I got home and then I started receiving calls on my mobile from a private number. I answered the first one and I heard his voice and that's when all the threats started happening."
Mr Gustavs said Hendricks threatened to kill his family, rape his sisters and torture his father if he told about what happened.
He was compelled to return to Hendricks' home, fearing what would happen to his loving and supportive family.
It was at this point that the life of this intelligent, athletic 13-year-old, who was top of his class, started to unravel.
"That put me into a catatonic state," he explained.
"My mouth and my lips all dried up, I couldn't remember how to brush my teeth, I couldn't communicate, I couldn't go to school.
"I think I spent close to three years in a psych ward."
He remained tight-lipped about the abuse, spiralling deeper into mental instability and depending more on cannabis as a means to escape.
Over the next decade he was forced to co-exist in the same community as his abuser. Mr Gustavs would cross Hendricks at the shopping centre, field his grooming phone calls and cringe when he saw him walking with another young boy in Cronulla.
A doctor diagnosed Mr Gustavs with bipolar disorder at 14 and it was assumed he was yet another teenager suffering drug-induced psychosis.
He dropped out of school in year 10 and was charged with drug supply at 18.
A few days after another psychiatric ward admission, he committed an armed robbery. His parents were at pains to understand what had caused their son's life to change so dramatically.
At one point his father, Stephen, who remains Mr Gustavs' best mate, asked his son: "has someone gotten to you?"
It was only after someone confided in him about a similar experience that Mr Gustavs, at 21, opened up about his abuse.
"I always had blamed myself before then thinking well, I was 13 and bulletproof, and why did I keep going back?" he said.
"The good years of my life were taken from me. I still feel like that."
After many turbulent years, 2016 marked Mr Gustavs' best 12 months yet. The Sharks took out the NRL premiership, he married the "woman of his dreams" and was served justice on December 20 when Hendricks was found guilty.
Anyone with further information is urged to contact Crime Stoppers on 1800 333 000.
