It was very early on a hot Christmas Eve, and nobody was stirring, not even a mouse.
That had been the hope. But by the time I'd arrived at Sydney's Westfield Chatswood before 7am to claim a parking spot next to the supermarket, the place was crawling with shoppers and cars.
The supermarket was an "apocalypse" of shoppers, as Irish author Anne Enright writes in her novel The Green Road.
After an early initial assault on the list, I dragged a full trolley back to the car park to unload the Christmassy??? things: pork mince, prosciutto, large amounts of butter, all spice, etc., into my esky.
I turned on the air conditioner, and called my stepmother to discuss what else we needed when there was a knock on my window.
A woman was asking if I was leaving. I mimed one of those apologetic gestures that says "I am not going anywhere" and returned to my conversation.
The woman knocked again. I wound down the window.
"When are you leaving?" she asked.
"Sorry, I'm not," I said, adding that I was about to do more shopping.
I rolled up the window.
More knocking. Louder. Nails against the glass.
I unwound the window, again, my sense of good will to all men and women dissipating.
"You need to go now," she said. "You have been here long enough."
"It is mine. I'm sorry, I got here early," I replied, rolling up the window.
This exchange - embarrassingly like arguments that four-year-olds have over a favourite doll - was repeated in more strident and angrier tones by both sides before she retreated to her idling car nearby.
Insurer Youi warned on Saturday that car parks are notorious for collisions, particularly at this time of year.
Who knew? I did. As well as my Christmas eve experience, I've seen car park attendants intervene to stop fist fights in my local Harris Farm, which employs parking attendants to act as umpires at Easter and Christmas.
Youi CEO Frank Costigan said as shopping centre car parks became increasingly busy and congested with many making the year-end dash to the store, it's likely there will be increased numbers of collisions as drivers look for that elusive parking space.
"Car parks are notorious places for collisions," he said.
"Our research showed 14 per cent of all motor insurance claims occurred while cars were parked with an average cost of each claim over $2000."
My research shows that parking lots are also the location of 55 per cent of pre-Christmas sobbing fits.
When the woman who harassed me finally roared away, I sobbed. When I read how Anne Enright's character Constance cried in The Green Road when she forgot to buy the potatoes at the supermarket, it made me realise that this pre-Christmas desperation to do it right was a universal stress that mostly women endure.
It comes every year, as inevitable as the parking lot fiascos, the ticking-off of items on the Xmas lists and the absence of sleep in the days before.
As Youi says, unfamiliar car parks can be difficult places to safely navigate and when combined with large numbers of stressed-out drivers looking for scarce available spaces, it's a perfect scenario for increased numbers of collisions.
